When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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