I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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