So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
