I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I enjoy the company of your penis
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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