Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
