he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
