Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize