How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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