what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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