My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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