Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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