On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
