They should really pass out barf bags in church
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
