would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
