Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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