STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
