Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
