Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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