But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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