I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
