Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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