By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
