I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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