i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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