capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
