party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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