If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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