My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
