In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
