the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
