I feel great
I just peed on a car
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
