I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
meet me or not, i'm out of control
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
