it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
