I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
