shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
