i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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