normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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