he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
