Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Someone stole a lamp last night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
