I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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