i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize