I am spending my child support on dildos
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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