Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
that's an acceptable place to lick
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
