we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
