I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Your cock deserves a montage
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
