you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
