But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
