Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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