Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
