If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
