Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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