I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
