i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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