i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
