you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Mom said you looked used
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
