did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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