Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
