Having a random hookup so left but love u
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
