dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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