Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
