for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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