so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize