sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
