i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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