hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
