While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
