Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
