I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize